An Affair of Poisons by Addie Thorley

Author:Addie Thorley
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-01-13T16:00:00+00:00

15

MIRABELLE

The bastard princeling is holding my hand.

And I don’t hate it.

A part of me may actually like it.

I gape down at our intertwined hands, screaming at myself to pull away, but my rebellious fingers tighten. His hands aren’t soft like a royal’s should be, and I like the way his calluses slide against my palm, the way they fit so perfectly with mine.

“La Vie,” he whispers. My heart pulses faster, beating in time to that glorious name.

It’s the most beautiful sound in the world—to be life instead of death. To be loved instead of feared. I feel as giddy and as weightless as I did when Father used to hoist me onto his shoulders and we’d spin around the laboratory in a whirlwind of gold dust and sage leaves.

Josse stops and turns to me, bringing his other hand to my face. His feather-light fingertips trace across my cheekbone and tuck a wayward curl behind my ear. I implore myself not to look up, but like my fingers, my eyes refuse to obey. They explore his hopeful face; his strong square jaw and full lips; the dark strands of hair escaping from his tricorne hat; the way his eyes reflect the sunlight on the wet slate rooftops—gray and green and gold. Brash and brazen and beautiful.

And so eerily similar to the Sun King’s, I suddenly can’t breathe.

Can’t move.

Can’t do this.

I lurch back so swiftly, I topple into the gutter and soak my skirts.

Josse’s hand hangs in the air for a moment before falling slack at his side. His face falls with it. “What’s wrong? I thought—”

“There’s nothing to think.” This is absurd. Impossible. Josse would agree if he knew I’m the one who poisoned his father. He would be horrified for ever thinking there could be anything between us. So I clamp my lips together, wave my hand as if swatting a fly, and stomp up the road.

“I know you felt something,” he calls after me.

“I’m not having this conversation here.” I’m not having this conversation anywhere, but I know better than to say so or we’ll be out here arguing all day. “We must return to the millinery at once.” I point down the street, at the candles flickering to life in several windows. “Not to mention a Society patrol could round the corner any moment.”

Josse heaves the empty cart forward with a jerk. “Only if you tell me what changed your mind.”

“Can’t you just enjoy our accomplishment and not ruin it with all this?” I gesture between us.

“No.”

“Fine. You want a reason?” I rack my brain for an excuse, since admitting that I’m scared of these feelings, and that I killed his father, are both out of the question. “Because you’re royal,” I blurt. “This is all a means to an end for you. Once Louis is restored to the throne, you’ll return to your lavish palaces with your sisters and never spare a second thought for the thousands of people who still need aid. Or me.”

The words feel like poison spitting from my lips.

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